Which might be the greatest sentence ever to have appeared on the BBC news website:
Mr Weston-Webb, who supplies flooring to hit BBC show Strictly Come Dancing, said he will also use a cannon, which once shot his wife Mary across the River Avon in a circus show, to fire a railway sleeper at intruders.
It is poetry. Full story, which of course you now want to read, here.
But did you hear what he said, when asked if he was concerned about hurting intruders? He promised to put a rubber ball on the end of the sleeper. Oh, well that's okay, then.
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Bloody hell
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