Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Dairy-based carnage

For all my delight in Cambridge eccentricity, I must say that in fact, this town is rather a let-down. Yes, there are absent-minded professors who forget how to work a kettle or make a sandwich; yes there are mad ex-dons garbed in holey tweed and string belts, but, quite frankly, this is tame stuff. For the real thing, get thee to the Forest of Dean. Local schoolchildren told me they kept dead gerbils as pets. Someone from my village had his nose bitten off in the street. A local man was hospitalised for dehydration after four days sitting in a stationary car. He'd been waiting for his friend to return from a local garage with a can of petrol. But his friend had gone home instead. "I thought he'd been gone a long time" he told the ambulance men, weakly.

To prove my point:

Ah, I miss the Forest...

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