Thursday, April 03, 2008

Agony Aunt

Oh yes! Today, in the Guardian's Agony Aunt page, a letter to which we, as readers, are invited to respond:
We have been married for six years and don't have children. My husband has a business that isn't doing well but he doesn't try to improve its performance, while I work extremely hard to support us. We've had many problems communicating about family and money — he resents that I call him lazy and irresponsible.

About a year ago, he changed the way he dresses, started to work out, and staying late at the office. I caught him watching internet pornography again — when this happened a couple of years ago, we almost divorced. Recently, I suspected that something was going on with a secretary at his workplace, but he denied it. One day, I planted a recording device in his office, and sure enough, she flirted with him shamelessly and he responded with enthusiasm. I demanded he fire her the next day, which he reluctantly did. He still denied having an affair and was resentful of my criticisms of her behaviour. Afterwards, I sent him articles on how hurtful an "emotional" affair can be, and he tried to justify his actions by attributing it to his need for attention. He said he is attracted to her because she is sweet, non-judgmental, and he needs somebody to talk to without worrying about being right.

My dilemma is whether to get divorced. I want to forgive him and start our life together again, but don't know if I can forgive him knowing that he was using me and willing to hurt me for the sake of his own happiness.

Agony aunt Pluvialis says: PLEASE, PLEASE divorce this poor, poor man, you complete and utter nightmare of a human being.


mdmnm said...

Here in the US, a lawyer's advice would be to divorce quickly to avoid the sexual harassment (Title VII) lawsuit that would be very likely to result from the owner of a company "enthusiastically flirting" with an employee and then firing her for it. Significant potential liability, plus, if they lost the suit, they'd have to pay the fired employee's attorney fees.

indigoGlyph said...