Friday, May 15, 2009

Advertising Fail

Whenever life gets you down, just turn to the internet. Today's offering is a British site offering free adverts for people who wish to buy and sell birds. And what a rich pageant of life is evidenced there.

Today's pick ranges from the astonishingly vague and succinct:

I want to buy a hawk, about half year age.

to the simply baffling:

I am looking for a pair of inprinted Very young Barn Owls in the wales area if possible

Why? Seriously. I'm tempted to ring the premium rate number to tell him that barn owls are less fun than anything else in the world. You know me, folks; I'm here to teach.

There are adverts from the hopeful:

hi there my name is kevin i rescue peregrins & harris hawks off people that buy them and dont realize the dedication involved in keeping them if this is you and you find yourself unable to care for your raptor then get in touch with me and i will pick the bird up from you we do not buy birds all birds must be free to us where a good home is waiting for them over 20 years experience with raptors

To the increasingly desperate:

right I'll be honest - I'm going 2 prison on 25th so everything needs 2 go. 2 male finish gossis 08 bird 650 1999 bird 500 bonded pair harris 500 male gyr pere and block and hoodtelemetry marshall trx 2 transmitters 600. if someone takes the lot 2000 they have the aviaries free charge.

Anyway – moving on – I dreadfully misinterpreted an advert, just now. This one:


I have an Alutek aviary for sale. It measures 6ft long, 6 ft high and 3ft wide with a door to the front. The mesh is 14 guage, 1 mesh. It is entirely made from aluminium. It has been disassembled for ease of transportation and consists of 7 panels.
The aviary is only six months old and housed two POWs for a couple of months.
£100 ovno


POWs?

I stopped reading like I'd hit a brick wall with my face.
Read it again, Helen.

TWO of them?

It's very Guantanamo. Is this some guy's private prison for ... but no, what? what the....backgarden prisoner of war camp? what? wtf?

But it was fine. All was fine. I had forgotten that acronyms may mean more than one thing.

I also have a male Princess of Wales cock bird in lovely condition and ready to breed. £35 ono

Relieved.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really interested in buying the Alutek Avairy,
Whereabouts are you, please email me on kate@daylilies.org.uk

Helen Macdonald said...

it's on bird trader - www.birdtrader.co.uk - look under aviaries.

Anonymous said...

Good to have you back.
What progress with the Goshawk book?

Scott said...

Fantastic Helen! Your Guantanamo reference and confusion had me in stitches! Too funny! Hey,... I'm raising an imprint Finnish Gos (male) So excited about him. I'm in love!